roll of the drums

race horses have this restless energy about them inside the small enclosure just before the race is to begin.i believe the expression is to pull (or chafe) at the bit...a bull used for bull-riding competitions too shows the same boundless energy just waiting for a chance to break through....

ones mind feels the same now.under-prepared with a month and half to go,i know my road is rough and probably will end in pitiless failure...

yet...in spite of the conditions..i hear the roll of the drums-the sound of the gong-the harbinger of war..

had i had a bit in my mouth,i would chew it to pieces(like saurav ganguly at his nails when india played a tight match under him).i dont,but i do have that restless and boundless energy.some part of me sends a reminder every second-a shudder through my brain-something that says prepared or not,mains are on 29th.next month.

and then all goes silent as i get the implications.it is not an exam in the future,to be thought of,planned for,and awaited.

imperceptibly what was once foreseeable future is merging into immediate present-and at a speed i can neither control nor match.

i can only swim so long against the tide...this is a complete tsunami....

i have no idea how i will fare.

but the warrior in me hears the drums...it is time.adversity reveals true character and no time can be more adverse than now for me.

the warrior-dazed and weary will fight this one last stand...i know the end is near,but i will make it so spectacular that i draw solace not from the result,but from release from the strain that i bore.

thats all i can do.

thats all i will do.

bring it on!